Written by Jenny Gillespie - College Counsellor

5 ways to build a Confident mindset in young people

How you think, effects how you feel which in turn leads how you behave. Developing a confident mindset where your thinking is constructive and hopeful, places teens at an advantage not only in adolescence rbut in adulthood as well.

Good social-emotional literacy skills are crucial to a confident mindset and provide the unwritten rules of getting along with others and preparing for success in learning and the workplace.

Meta-analysis studies around the world have demonstrated that social-emotional competencies can be taught and make a positive difference in young people’s lives. The long-term benefits include better academic outcomes, improved conduct, healthier relationships, and lower emotional distress. (Taylor et.al, 2017).

All students undertake Pastoral Lessons each term explicitly focused on social-emotional literacy and skills. Lessons teach self-awareness skills and how to manage social-emotional ‘blockers’ like procrastination, anger, stress and anxiety.

At home, there are also ways to help build confident thinking patterns in young people through ongoing conversations, encouragement and practice. As with all aspects of development, focusing on progress, rather than perfection is essential as self-confidence takes time to grow.

1. Teach young people the ins and outs of healthy friendships

Lead them to find out who they really are (not who they think they should be or who others want them to be). Help them see how friendships thrive through common ground, open-mindedness, mutual respect and empathy. Bonds are strengthened further by understanding that differences are a natural part of human diversity and can be a positive aspect of friendship.

2. Teach emotion regulation skills

Let young people know emotions are contagious and being responsible for the feelings you bring into a space is an important part of growing up and developing your emotional intelligence. Teach young people to create a space between their feelings and their actions - “Regulation gives us the ability to put time and thought between a feeling and an action”.

3. Help them understand the value of confident self-talk

Spend some time allowing young people to have a ‘thought dump’ in a journal or through conversation with you. In this time, they think of all the things their inner critic says. Next, they create a new dialogue, a steady voice that speaks with kindness and encouragement, like you would offer a treasured friend.

4. Practise compassion

Studies have shown that being compassionate by noticing the good in others, valuing and appreciating them for who they are can reduce stress, producing calmer, more rational and reasonable thinking. (Weng et al (2018). Have deliberate conversations where you notice the good in others. Over time, this optimism and compassion for others builds a young person’s confidence in themselves as well.

5. Teach problem solving and decision-making skills

To be confident, you need to know what to do when faced with an unexpected curve ball. Sometimes young people will be able to do this by themselves and sometimes they will need the confidence to ask for help. Having the tools to deal with age-appropriate problems strengthens young people’s belief in themselves over time.

For further discussion or information re: social emotional challenges and skills please contact either Brett or Jenny in the College Wellbeing Centre, Monday to Friday via email: Jenny.Gillespie@twb.catholic.edu.au or Brett.Armstrong@twb.catholic.edu.au