Written by Jenny Gillespie - College Counsellor

Teens and Stress

Like adults, teens vary a lot when it comes to how they perceive and respond to stress.

Teens’ social, personal, organisational and academic skill levels vary considerably and sources or stress for teens are also wide ranging. Peer pressure, social challenges, thinking habits, sensory needs, family issues or academic demands are just a few potential examples.

Stress can show up for teens through:

• Irritability: Teens don’t always have the words to describe how they are feeling and sometimes tension or overstimulation becomes a bad mood. Stressed teens might be more short-tempered or argumentative than normal.

• Trouble sleeping: A stressed teen might complain of feeling tired all the time, sleep more than usual, or have trouble falling asleep at night.

• Changes in behaviour: A once socially active teen might not want to leave the house. Sudden changes can be a sign that stress levels are high.

• Neglecting responsibilities: If a teen suddenly drops the ball in class or on homework, forgets obligations, or starts procrastinating more than usual, stress might be a factor.

• Eating changes: Eating too much or too little can both be reactions to stress.

• Getting sick more often: Stress often shows up as physical symptoms. Teens who feel stress often report headaches or stomach aches and might make more frequent trips to the school sick bay than usual.

Learning to cope is also a normal and important developmental task. These strategies can help keep stress in check:

• Sleep well. Sleep is essential for physical and emotional well-being. Experts recommend teens sleep for about 10 hours a night. Adequate sleep needs to be a priority.

• Exercise. Physical activity is an excellent stress reliever for people of all ages.

• Talk it out. Talking about stressful situations with a calm and trusted adult can help teens put things in perspective and find solutions.

• Make time for fun and quiet. Just like adults, teens need time to do what they enjoy (while some teens thrive doing one activity to the next, others will need more down time).

• Write about it. Research has found that writing can help reduce mental distress and improve well-being. Some research has found, for example, that writing about positive feelings such as the things you’re grateful for or proud of, can ease symptoms of anxiety and depression.

• Learn mindfulness. Slow breathing exercises and meditation help some teens a lot.

How can Parents help?

Parents and caregivers have an important part to play and can take action by:

• Modelling healthy coping. Parents can talk with teens about what works for them and how they’ve thought about and dealt with their own stressful situations.

• Letting teens be problem solvers. It’s natural to want to fix your teens problems but it doesn’t work in the long run. Letting teens try to solve their low-stakes problems on their own, allows them to gain confidence that they can deal with stressors and setbacks along the way.

• Promoting media literacy. Teens spend a lot of time online, where they can run into questionable content, cyberbullying, or the peer pressures of social media. Parents can help by teaching their teens to be savvy digital consumers, and by limiting screen time.

• Combating negative thinking. “I’m terrible at school”, “I hate my legs” or “I’ll never make the team. Why try out?” It is very easy for teens to fall into the trap of negative thinking but when teens use negative self-talk, don’t just disagree. Ask them to really think about whether what they are saying is true, or remind them of times they worked hard and improved. Learning to frame things positively will help them to develop significant resilience to stress over time.

For questions, resources or concerns, please speak to Jenny Gillespie or Brett Armstrong in the College Counselling office.